Showing posts with label silliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silliness. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Theater geekness meets pun geekness...

Back on May 20's post, I shared a clip from Bad Spellcheck Theater. That subject popped up again in a recent chat I had with Denise. One of us typed "Angles in America"--then all heck broke loose:
11:53amDavid
yes! spellcheck theater meets broadway

"CAST"--now and forever (about someone who's arm never heals)

11:54amDavid
"Less Miserable"--with a ~happy~ ending this time

"Missed Saigon"--about a draft dodger who went to Canada in the 60s

11:54amDavid
"A Chorus Lane"--about the goings-on in the alley behind the theater

"South Pacifist"--same story, but told from the Frenchman's point of view this time

I also thought of these:

"Seven Brides for Seven Mothers"--a musical romp featuring the hysterics of seven crying older women

"Sweet Chastity"--about a girl who refuses to work at the dance hall

"They're Paying Our Son"--about parents of a composer who finally gets a day job and moves out of the house

Who has more? Comment below, please...

Friday, July 3, 2009

Oh, the irony...

Denise shared this one with me. Every year for the last almost three decades, a local organization has "The World's Largest Salmon Barbecue" on July Fourth. What is ironic about that, you ask? The cookout is a fundraiser for the Salmon Restoration Association.

Now, granted, the SRA (Charlton Heston with a fishing pole?) has a hatchery, and the salmon undoubtedly are farmed. One hopes. But the irony of it all is quite amusing. I started riffing on the whole thing:

"then, in the winter, there will be a crab feed to benefit the crab restoration program."

"and we're having a logging festival to heighten awareness for the tree destruction league."

Ah, Sarcasm. You and Irony and I make quite the trio.

Friday, June 5, 2009

This might be too obscure...

...in a Dennis Miller, overly-cerebral sort of way. This is a classic case of "if I have to explain it, it will take too long and it won't be funny any more." But here is the thing that cracked me up this morning:

Corrie ten Boom's Facebook page

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Getting in touch with your inner detective...

Oh. My. God. I don't know whether to be amused, or horrified, or what exactly. But here is a link to Pick the Perp, where you can try to match an image of someone from a police lineup to a crime. Here's an example:

who da criminal?

Give it a shot. Er...a 'go'.

Friday, April 3, 2009

If you're an Ashton Kucher fan...

...you probably shouldn't read this post.

I went to a site called My Heritage that is a genealogy site of sorts. One of the applets they have on the site is a photo comparison page that allows you to upload a personal photo, and then compares your photo to those of celebrities, trying to find a look alike. How this is supposed to help you find family members, I have no idea--seems like a reach to me. (For example, I matched Tom Hanks pretty closely, according to the site.)

Another thing it does is look for multiple images in the same photo, and offer you a step-saving look at other people at the same time. I nearly died laughing when I saw this:

Daddy? Is that you?

You are indeed reading that correctly. It is recommending Ashton Kucher as a match...FOR THE DOOR FIXTURE. Too funny.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Clip of the Week...

If you haven't read my last post, this week's clip won't make much sense. You have read it? Oh. Okay, then:

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Twelve Steps...

Hi, my name is David, and I'm a Tetrisaholic. (pause. circle of sponsors responds, "Hi, David.") It has been moments since I used last. (Circle moans collectively, a mixture of sympathy and concern.)

I used to play Tetris back in the days when the game first came out. It was a time of darkness--standing alone in a seedy video arcade in Times Square, plugging quarters into a machine I didn't even know, a machine with cigarette burns near the buttons from countless other addicts who had come before me. I lived for the Russian dance entertainment at the intermissions, a time when one could stretch their carpal-tunnel-bound fingers to prepare for the next wave of colored blocks.

I used to be able to walk away at any time, but soon I found myself pouring all my spare time--and quarters--into the game. In nearly no time at all, I was popping greens, reds and purples like candy. I prayed to the machine, imploring it for the long, thin ice blues that meant multiple rows and bonus points. I begged it for the purples to fill the gaps. I cursed and bruised my own hands banging on the hard case of the machine when the orange came instead of the blue.

This is NOT my Halloween costume.  I swear it.


Finally, when the darkness became too much, I hit bottom and quit. I realized that I was powerless over Tetris, and that my life had become unmanageable. I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, and turned my will and my life over to God, as I understood him, with the belief that he could restore me to sanity. I admitted my wrongs to another, made a list of all people I had harmed, and made direct amends to them wherever possible. With the help of God, as I understood him, I was clean for years.

Then someone--someone who I do not blame for my own addiction--sent me a link to the game via Facebook. There was a special holiday version of Tetris, and I told myself that I could just play a couple of times, for fun, for the holidays, and it would be okay. I could stop at any time. I quickly became mired in the depths of Tetris again, playing the Ultra version...the Marathon version...the Block Star and Sprint versions. I even went so far as to try a Beta version of a new mod of the game. I quest daily to surpass my friends' high scores. I can't seem to stop, no matter how hard I try.

Please, God, as I understand you, take my life over again and free me from this darkness. Help me to keep it green. Or red. Or purple. Or thin, icy blue...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day...

Pick your favorite, you Americans you:

political campaign? i thought this was an AD campaign...

And that's about all I have to say about that. For today, at least.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Not-Politics, again...

Good lord, I do love me some articles on Cracked.com. Them boys shore do crack me up. I would submit quotes to you, but I fear it would be like telling you the punchline to a joke, so instead I plead with you to read the following:

An Interview with McCain and Obama in the year 2012

President McCain or President Obama?

If that don't make you wanna start a militia and revolt, you ain't been paying attention.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Lucifer, your lunch is ready...

Apparently, the Dark Prince loves him some Carl's Jr. I ordered a medium size chili burger meal with a Dr. Pepper, and here's the receipt:

Photobucket

Don't know what possessed me to eat there, but now I feel the need to exorcise. (See what I did there?)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Yarrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!...

Today is the 13th annual "Talk Like a Pirate Day"! Fun for all--nothing quite like trying to sell lasers and other electro-optical components to a Russian Ph.D. from Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory with a goofy pirate accent. (Okay, I chickened out and didn't do it with him.) I did do it in the drivethru one year when I was still with Starbucks, and that was definitely a hoot.

Want to have some piratical fun? Go figure out what your pirate name might have been. Here's mine:

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Want to have even more fun? Try translating any phrase into piratespeak. This page not only piratizes phrases you enter into the magic box, it will also translate entire web pages, a la AltaVista's old Babel Fish service. Do it with a page from your local newspaper--pretty awesome reading the sports page with pirate accent (even though they didn't have the score from the last Pittsburgh baseball game).