Rock and roll...

...is loud. And that's part of why I like it. Life is loud right now. And that's part of why I like it, too. In the last seven days, some pretty incredible stuff has happened:

One of my best friends in the whole wide world has returned to California. After a series of some-good-but-mostly-suck-ish adventures in the midwest, Jon is back in town. He drove all the way from Missouri (which I envy) and got a flat tire one and a half hours away (which I do not envy). But he is here, he is staying with me until he gets work and a place of his own, and it is grand to catch up. We have already spent countless times reliving the past and laughing our butts off about the present. Good times.

My kids and I have spent some wonderful time together. We have gone to the Russian River to splash around, and take the dog swimming. We have played board games and watched movies and had popcorn and stayed up late. Thing One came to work with me on Tuesday, and I get to see him again tonight. He is getting so mature, and growing so much--he nearly fills out his bed now, and I can still (barely) remember carrying him like a football. Thing Two is growing, too, although his heart was broken Tuesday when his pet rat passed away. (She had a giant tumor and a couple other smaller ones growing in her, so it was for the best.) He is handling it like a trooper, trying to remember the good times, but it is hard. Other than that, he is also growing like crazy and becoming his own person.

Last weekend a show I am directing opened in Santa Rosa. "Wretch Like Me" is a one-man autobiographical show about growing up into and out of Fundamental Evangelical Christianity, something close to my heart and in my own past. It is a very potent story about religion, but even more so about maturing, finding one's own voice, and how the things that often drive us into difficult situations are also the very things that give us the tools to get back out.

This week, I ran auditions for my own creation, a show called "Affairs of Face" (If you are interested, check my theater company's page for more info.) The turnout was pretty small, but the cast is small, and I am going to put some feelers out. There is still hope. And, both of these projects ("Wretch" and "Affairs") will be part of the very first Sonoma County Arts Fringe Festival this autumn. So I am VERY excited about THAT.

In all of this, I have frequently lost sleep due to fretting about things, panicking about things, and drinking waaaaaaaay too much caffeine. I have not always been my cheery self. However, throughout these adventures, my girlfriend Denise has been stalwartly at my side--supporting me, comforting me, encouraging me, giving me strength and love every step of the way. She has helped out with the show, being "on book" and taking notes for us during the rehearsal process. She has taken care of me when I needed it. And even with the busy-ness of it all, we have spent some wonderful times together.

In reflecting about everything that is going on, I really cannot complain. I am doing what I love, with the people I love, and I cannot really ask for much more than that.

Except maybe win the lottery.

Too darn hot / It's too darn hot...

This was a lovely weekend. Really, really hot, but a good weekend. Saturday the boys and Denise and I shot some mini-golf at Scandia. When Denise left to go to her show, Thing 1 and Thing 2 and I took the dog to the beach because it was so hot outside. We played and had a very fun time--it is always a crack up watching Maggie run in the waves. I found some bits of sea glass, and we came home and had dinner.

Sunday was the end-of-year party for Thing 1's hockey team. They made it to the state championships this year, so this was a special time. We went to one of the family's house, and they had a pool, a trampoline, and a huge inflatable water slide thing. We had build-your-own nachos, I made margaritas...it was a blast. The end of it was a bit of sharing by the team manager, the coaches, and handing out of the coach gifts and final patches for the kids' season achievements (hat tricks, shutouts, etc.). The swimming and sliding were very much appreciated, though, as it was really, really hot on Sunday, as well.

How hot was it? Well, I put some pillar candles on the patio table a week or so ago when I was eating dinner out there at night. Here is what they looked like at the end of the day:



Guess that is why people put those pillar candles on plates.

The supported becomes the supporter...

My friends and family have always been great supporters of mine in theater. But I have been working so long, and wanting to spend time with my kids when I have them, it has been hard to get out and see other stuff. Thursday felt like a rush to catch up.

My younger son landed the part of Jupiter in the school play (great solo, lots of fun), and his performances were on Thursday at 2pm (for his classmates) and 6:30pm (for the parents and the rest of the world). My eldest son was playing in his band for his school's open house--also on Thursday, also at 6:30pm. So, I left work early to watch and tape the two o'clock show, then ran home to change, pack and throw back a cup of soup before heading off to the open house. After watching/taping the band, Thing 1 and I toured his classrooms and hung out a bit before I left to see a friend in the Santa Rosa Junior College Jazz Ensemble.

God help me, I was a bit predisposed on this last. I shouldn't judge, but I had this preconceived notion that the group would be...well, academic. As in 'not very good.' But my friend has a huge love of music, and had a drum solo that he was very excited about in the last song of the first half of the show, so I thought I would go. Man, was I ever surprised. I got there after it started (they started at 7:30pm, so it was underway by the time I got there) and snuck in to find a seat in the dark theater. They were TIGHT. This ensemble was very, very good, and it made me wish that I could hear more than just the last two pieces in their set. But I did at least get to hear my friend play in a song called "Freefall", and he was absolutely amazing.

Last night, I went to see Denise in "A View From the Bridge", the current show at Ross Valley Players. If you don't know Arthur Miller's work, it is intense stuff. Most of his 'American Classics' are dark, struggle-against-the-tide type of shows. (Denise refers to this one in particular as a modern Greek tragedy.) To extract hope from a show like this takes work--you don't just get a smile and a toe tap, you have to understand the character's struggles, how human they are, and see it for what it is. Denise was outstanding, as was the actor playing Eddie Carbone, and a few of the supporting cast. The others seemed to be finding their feet still, and I look forward to going again later in the run to see how the child has developed. But I would still recommend the show heartily. Ticket information is here.

Since I was going to the show, I offered to drive Denise down to Ross early. I was looking forward to a bit of quiet time to myself and a burrito from a little Taqueria down there that I used to frequent. And, it was a chance for me to run an errand to visit my friends at The Mountain Play, where I did "The Wizard of Oz" last year (there are some links on my post here, if you missed out or want to have a flashback). It was great to see a couple of folks, but MAN are those people swamped right now. Their next show, "The Man of La Mancha", opens next weekend, and the sheer volume of logistics involved in putting a play up on the mountain is overwhelming. It was nice to catch up, lend some support, give some feedback, and pick up an archival copy of Oz. (Still hard to believe that was me under all that silver makeup.)

Anyway, all this supporting of the arts made me think: if someone who is a fan of sports can be called an athletic supporter, would a supporter of the arts be called a dance belt?

In partial defense of the madness that is my life...

Okay, I will start by saying the following:

(a) I am a poor correspondent. I am, in fact, so poor at keeping in touch with others, that I expect to be posthumously decorated by some Agency for Not Staying in Touch with Others when I am interred in this earth.

(b) I am busy. Over busy. Some of this over-busy-ness I select and put upon myself, and therefore my excuse of being over-busy is partially my own fault. (I say partially because every activity I undertake includes the possibility for change, error, and misstep, and therefore also includes the possibility for delay and stress.)

(c) My life is loud. Hence the title.

However, I also find that I get--not flak, per se, but lack of understanding from some of my single friends when I tell them I am buried and cannot hang out. I try to convince them that it isn't because I don't want to spend time with them, that I am just crazed with work and shows, and half my life is spent with my kids. It is the last part that gets barely-restrained eye rolling.

There is a writer named Carolyn Hax who pens an advice column for the Washington Post. Here's one that has been floating around the aether for a while now, but that just recently caught my eye--she has said it better than I could, so I'm just going to wantonly plagiarize.

Dear Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

Tacoma, Wash.

Here is her response:

Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

You can read the full article
here, but I pretty much reprinted all of it above.

Give your friends-who-are-parents a little patience and understanding. They probably would LOVE to spend time with you. They just need time. Like, maybe a decade or so.

The Weekend of Too Much Emotion...

Okay, I have accepted that my life is a very loud one, with things always happening all around me, whether I want them to or not. But this past weekend was dramatic, even for me.

As I told you in my last post, my uncle recently passed away. Also in that post, I mentioned that Thing 1 had made it to the California State Ice Hockey championships. As it turns out, both were in San Diego. I had two radio interviews for my upcoming show, so I wasn't able to leave until Friday afternoon, so Thing 1 had to ride down with another family (their first game was Friday).

Game one was against the Southern California Champs, the Bakersfield Dragons. Our team, the Santa Rosa Flyers, won 3-2 in overtime. A very exciting match, by all accounts. While the boys were on the ice, Denise and I were on the road. Recently, there several police officers were tragically (and fatally) shot in the Bay Area. What I did not know was that the services for those officers were on Friday afternoon, and the powers-that-be had shut down one of the main arteries of traffic in the area. The freeway was at a crawl--so bad, in fact, that Denise and I exited to have dinner, and when we got back on an hour and a half later, it wasn't much better. We did not get in to the hotel in San Diego until nearly 2am.

I was up four hours later to get my son, and we had a quick breakfast before heading to the ice. He had an 8:30am game against the other SOCAL finalists, the Anaheim Jr. Ducks. We lost in the last three minutes of the game, 3-2. After the game, we headed back to the hotel. I called one of my uncles to see if it was okay if I just showed up at the memorial service for my uncle, and they welcomed both Denise and I to come. We changed and headed out, after handing Thing 1 off to the head coach for a few hours.

The service was nice--two of my cousins and one of my aunts spoke, sharing great stories and messages. There was a slide show of my uncle's life, and quite a few pictures included my (then very young) father. Afterward, my aunt invited the family and closest friends to her house for a meal. My uncle and she had run a restaurant for a while, so there was quite a spread of authentic Korean food (she is Korean; my family is Chinese). We had some food, saw many of my cousins, and had a Coors (my uncle was fond of that brand).

Denise and I went back to the hotel. She took a nap while Thing 1 and I went to get him some food. After watching him eat most of a Subway meatball hero, we went back to the hotel to collect his gear and Denise, and headed off to the next game. This one was against the team that the Flyers lost to in the final game of the NORCAL playoffs--the Fresno Jr. Falcons.

To make things even more exciting, the other games in the finals thus far were all close as well. All four teams had won one game, so the point spread was even. Now it was down to this final game--whoever won the game between Anaheim and Bakersfield would face whoever won our game against Fresno on Sunday morning for the championship. I told the guys on our team that Thing 1's birthday was Sunday, and a championship trophy would be a wonderful gift. ;o)

The boys fought hard for the first half of the game, but then their legs just seemed to give out and Fresno's seemed to kick in. It was as if they were energy vampires of some sort. The Flyers ended up getting steamrolled, 5-1, and were knocked out. It was a very tough way to go out (not that there is ever an easy way), and Thing 1 was pretty emotional. I asked what he would like, and he said most of all he wanted to just go back to the hotel and chill--he didn't want to hang out with the team or really celebrate his birthday that night. We grabbed some pizza and pay-per-viewed The Tale of Desperaux (which was an AWESOME movie, btw). I packed up all his stuff, and all of mine, and was in bed almost by midnight.

The following morning, I got up at 5am, got showered and woke Thing 1 and Denise, and packed up the car. I had us checked out of the hotel by 6:20, we stopped at Denny's for birthday breakfast, and hit the road. We arrived back home at 2:45pm (I was breaking land speed records--I probably would have been double-ticketed for driving under the influence, I had so much caffeine in my system). I dropped Denise off at my house so she could zip home before our rehearsal that evening, dropped Thing 1 off at his mom's so they could celebrate his birthday, and stopped to pick him up a gift I had seen days earlier but didn't have the time to purchase.

I was at a grueling cue-to-cue rehearsal from 4:15-7:45pm, stopped by the head coach's house to get the backpack Thing 1 forgot in San Diego, and went home. I am still not sure how or when I will get to deal with all this. Probably in a week when the show is open. Oy.

Happy Birthday...

...mom!

Since Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday was, in fact, on the 15th (you did know that, right?), I chose to observe another important birthday today. My kids, my girlfriend and I all met my parents at Hong Ah, a (relatively) new Chinese restaurant in the area. They make pretty awesome teacakes (dim sum for you round-eyes)* and we had duck. VERY tasty.

I brought one of the birthday cards for her, but forgot the other one. The one I managed to remember had two dachsunds wearing hot-dog costumes on the front. They were a lot like this one:



Okay, so my mom collects dachsunds. Sue me.

Happy Birthday, mom! Hope it was great.



*geez, what is with all the parentheticals tonight?

Making the Edges Ragged, (Pt. 3 of 3)...

On the Saturday morning after Christmas, we drove to Anaheim (about an 8 hr drive, depending on how many stops you have to make to utilize the filthy road bathrooms). When we got to town, we had a bit of an adventure trying to find our hotel, but eventually we found it and checked in. After quickly throwing our stuff in the room, Denise treated us all to dinner at Medieval Times. (It was a surprise for the boys, and my first time). We got seated in the front row of the Green knight's section—Leon, as it turns out, is the enemy of the court. The food was not bad, the fighting was top notch, and it was super exciting to root for the bad guy for a change. I was really into it, and shouted more than was prudent, probably.

We went to the park the following day, right after they lowered the ropes to let people in. The weather was pretty chilly, around the high 40’s, so there weren’t a lot of people there. We covered half the park by 1:00 in the afternoon—no mean feat. But if you know how to work the system (yay Fast Pass!), you can cover a lot more ground. (We also pack our own food for all but one meal—saves us TONS of money. Let me know if you want more tips.) We saw all of Adventureland, Frontierland, and New Orleans Square. The Haunted Mansion is all decked out with the characters from “Nightmare Before Christmas”, so that was a lot of fun. We had lunch on some outdoor picnic tables at the edge of the Rivers of America, and then covered the majority of Fantasyland and some of Tomorrowland. As the sun set, the holiday decorations glittered with tons of Christmas lights—and Cinderella’s castle was ASTOUNDINGLY beautiful, with icicles and lights just dripping off it.

After debating whether or not to pop over to California Adventure for the resurrected Electric Light Parade or see the Holiday Fireworks show, we opted to stay. By the time we grabbed some seats on Main Street for the fireworks, I knew I was in trouble—the show, the Christmas holiday, the drive, the yelling at dinner, the park—combined with being surrounded by sick folks—were all taking their toll. I could feel the tickle in my throat growing worse, and the exhaustion I felt as I tried to get hot chocolate for everyone for the fireworks was quickly transitioning into fever hot flashes.

I gutted it out, though, and I’m so glad I did. We watched the fireworks and headed back to the room. The following day we let ourselves get a later start. Denise was now starting to come down with something, too, but she was being a trooper about it. We went to California Adventure and Denise and Thing 2 went to A Bug’s Land while Thing 1 and I went to the Tower of Terror. We met up and saw the most fantastic 3-D experience ever before going to a huge play space type area dedicated to the Brother Bear movie. We sat and ate our lunch before hitting California Soarin’ and making our way back to Disneyland.

Denise and I traded kids, and Thing 2 and I rode the Nemo ride while they hit Thunder Mountain (again) and the Matterhorn (again again). We met up and covered a few last rides before sitting down to dinner. We were dragging, all of us, and the two adults were getting sicker by the minute, but we didn’t want to leave. We grabbed some seats at the Rivers of America for the Fantasmic! show, and then drug our weary selves back to the hotel. On the way out, we were extremely glad we saw the fireworks the previous night, as the weather at high altitude was keeping them from happening. In true Disney fashion, however, they had a backup plan—a light show that involved all the holiday lights on Main Street (including the hundreds of them on the giant tree in the middle of town) all synched up to a holiday song.

The following day, we got up and hit the road, taking the long trip back to NorCal. We picked up the dog from Camp Bow Wow (wonderful place, I highly recommend it if you have a pup and need to board it somewhere). Then we stumbled home. A wonderful trip.

Making the Edges Ragged, (Pt. 2 of 3)…

I often get sick after the close of a show--something about the adrenaline finally slowing down enough, or the emotional drain of closing a show and saying goodbye to all those characters, or maybe just the sheer exhaustion of finalizing a run. But this time, I didn't have time to get sick. Christmas was coming! I did my shopping in and around the show time, and was able to knock out my last minute stuff successfully, and got everything ready for a wonderful Christmas. The boys were with me on Christmas Eve, and my girlfriend Denise and Thing 1 and I went up to my parents' house to help my father fold wonton. (It is a tradition in my family to have wonton soup on Christmas Eve--that old division of labor thing. Mom makes Christmas food, Dad makes it on the Eve.)

On Christmas morning we opened lots of presents, then the boys went to their mom's for the afternoon and opened even more. My parents came over in the morning for the giftwrap genocide, and Denise and I played mahjong with them all afternoon while the boys were away. The boys rejoined us in the evening, and we had a splendid Christmas dinner. Overall, the day was a wonderful success (I thought, anyhoo). There was one more gift I had for them, though.

When Thing 1 and Thing 2 were 6 and 3 years old, respectively, I took them to Disneyland for the first time. I didn’t want to go much earlier—no sense taking a kid to something like that they aren’t even going to remember when they’re that young (in Thing 2’s case). But I didn’t want to wait any longer, either—Thing 1 was at just the right age. We had such an incredible, magical time, that I mentioned (and planned, in my heart of hearts) to go every two years until the kids no longer wanted to hang out with us. We went again two years later, and were slated to go again in 2007, but divorce reared its ugly head, and I had emptied my retirement account just to fix my ex’s van, change careers, and move twice. I wanted more than anything to make it happen this year. I personally had never been during the holidays, and had heard it was a special time there (even more special than usual). I asked my mom if she would like to pitch in on passes in lieu of getting them a big-ticket item for their present, and she agreed. My girlfriend volunteered to cover one night of hotel expenses. The success of SantaLand sealed the deal.

Every year, Starbucks Coffee Company releases a wonderful giftcard holder a part of their holiday promotion. I had picked up two of them. On the day after Christmas, I handed my two sons a beautiful red felt card holder with a 2-day parkhopper pass to Disneyland inside. We left on the following day...

to be continued...

Autumnal merriness...

I love the fall. I love the cooling climate, the crisp air, the return of fog. I love the crunch of a fresh apple, the warm spices and comfort foods, and caramel. (Sure, you can get caramel all year round, but there's something about that smoky, burned sugar taste that goes with fall.) I love the twilight and pre-dawn colors of the sky, and in the fall you don't have to get up as early to appreciate them. The turning leaves, the sweaters, the snuggliness of it all...

And of course, Halloween. Today I took the kids and Denise to the Adobe Pumpkin Farm in Petaluma for an afternoon of Fall Wonderfulness. This place is a bit on the crazy side for pumpkin patches--almost a carnival more than a patch. There are two haunted houses, a hay maze, and a corn maze. There were three little barn-buildings-turned-shops, and a coffee shack. There are little booths where you can get snacks (cotton candy, caramel apples, fresh-popped kettle corn, and funnel cakes). There is a "train" ride that tools about the 30-acre farm, as well as a hay ride. There are demonstrations of old farm equipment, still running. There are jump castles, a pyramid of haybales to climb on, and a rock wall, as well as several live performers wandering about.

Oh, yeah--and pumpkins. TONS of pumpkins.

They also have fresh autumnal flowers growing onsite, peppers and olives. (You can even get some fresh, home-pressed olive oil in one of the barn/shop places.) If you are in the area, you should stop by for a visit. The pumpkin prices are pretty high as opposed to getting them at a nearby supermarket, but the experience is more than worth it. And hey--who says you have to buy them there? But you may want to--there were still several you could pick right off the vine. And that is a fun experience.

Back in the saddle, again...

(cue Gene Autry:

I'm back in the saddle again
Out where a friend is a friend...

Thanks to a friendly nudge from Cara, I have returned from the land of not-ether to at least check in with you all. It has been a crazy week and a half. (Well, month, if you've been paying any attention at all.) Since my last cheesy post, I have had several adventures, not the least of which was a birthday celebration to add to the books.

Last Sunday was my (#currentyear-#birthyear)nd birthday. I had remarked some time ago to my current interest, Denise that my birthdays in the past always seemed to be a fizzle, or something I arranged myself, and she jumped into the breach. I was told several weeks ago to plan nothing for the weekend of August 3rd, and to be prepared for anything.

I was not.

Oh, I thought I was ready for anything, but she and some of my other friends are very, very devious. I was on my way to Denise's house (a granny unit behind another friend's house) when it struck me that she told me to come over "any time after 12:15". This was suspicious to me, since she usually isn't that time specific. But when I pulled up to the front house, there were no cars around. On top of that, the couple that lives in the front house were not in party mode--he was washing his truck, and she was in a robe sipping coffee on the porch.

When I walked in the back, though, there they were: people from all walks of my life--theater, family, friends--yelling "Surprise!". There was a HUGE pile of food, all good, and wine and beer--including a version of my favorite brew (don't know why brown ales are so rare, but they are not easy to find--still trying to figure out who played that card). There were balloons, many cards, three bottles of champagne just for me (they were gifts), gifts. The weather was PERFECT and we all had an amazing time.

But it didn't end there. After the party wrapped around 4:00pm, we dropped my dog off at the overnight place she likes and checked in at the Hotel La Rose in historic Railroad Square in Santa Rosa. Then we went to the Sonoma County Fair. Denise had never been to a horse race before, so we caught the last race of the day (we did not win, unfortunately). We saw all the stuff I missed about the place, took a ride on the Ferris Wheel, and left to get ready for dinner.

We got rather dressed up, and headed over to a stellar Italian place called Ca Bianca. Beautiful old Victorian building, converted to a restaurant. The service was amazing, the food was delicious, and we had the place pretty much to ourselves. (We got there right before closing, but never felt rushed to get out of their hair.) Denise had also put together a "spirit of birthdays" thing--a memory from my folks of a year of my life (spirit of birthday past), a card from her (present), and some cards from my boys (yet to come).

It was an incredible day. As Mr. Autry would say: "Whoopi-ty-aye-yay!"

Don't waste your time and/or money...

[Dear readers: this is a long blog, and there are a lot of italicized words (see, one just went by). This is a sure sign that I am not pleased. So brace yourself. You have been warned.]

Unless you really love the animal/sea creature experience, don't bother going to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom.

Now, you know and I know (and I told the kids) that amusement parks are all about the waiting. You spend an hour in line, take a 1-2 minute thrill ride, and you love it because it's worth it. Not so at this park. For some reason I cannot fathom, the majority of the rides we chose had only one car running on them. In the middle of their most peak time--summer weekend day, beautiful weather--they had one car running on ROAR (the 'tallest, fastest wooden coaster in NorCal'). They had a whopping two cars (well, boats really) on their get-drenched-by-water ride (which was only a 45 second ride but still took over an hour to get on).

To that wait, you can add a dizzying and death-defying surprise wait time extension: Discovery Kingdom has tried to add a "Fast Pass" feature to their park. Disney has one, and if you are not familiar with it, it is implemented perfectly. You scan your admission ticket to get a pass which allows you to take a shorter line on the most popular rides. You have to come back during a one hour window, and you cannot get another fast pass until that window arrives. It is brilliant, and with a little forethought and planning enables you to see much more of the park.

Discovery Kingdom's works like this: you pay *extra* money to get a handful of ride coupons that allow you to--get this--cut to the front of the line through the exit ramp. There is no rhyme or reason to it, you just walk up, someone in a DK costume (yes, I get the Donkey Kong reference--it was intentional) takes your ticket, and you walk right on to wherever you choose to sit. Imagine my children's chagrin when, after waiting an hour and a half for their first ride in the park, we were delayed again when we were only two spots from getting on the ride. Someone walked right up and stole one of our seat rows, forcing us to wait not one more run, but two more. And that could have gone on indefinitely.

To make matters worse, the place was staffed horribly. Having managed a retail food operation before, I can appreciate the challenges faced by employers in that arena, but here are a few highlights: the food booth we chose to eat at was staffed by three--yes, three--employees. One at the fryer, cooking up batches of chicken strips and fries (how would you like that job?), and one in each of two windows. So each order took about 3-5 minutes to get to the customer, which with a line of twenty people would equal...oh, look, mommy! We get to wait an hour for our FOOD, too! (I will save the irony of waiting nearly an hour for "Fast" food for another time, and a different blog.)

And not only were they understaffed, they were wrongstaffed. On one of the rides, the operator at the board stood talking casually with another employee and DOING HER MAKEUP WITH AN OPEN COMPACT. How is that for making you feel safe? Not to mention that I witnessed this delightful little spectacle on the water ride, which was moving intolerably slow in the first place. It's a one-minute long ride, for chrissake! And the control panel was literally right next to the line--she had the guts to do her makeup and have her little gossipy chat with her friend right within earshot of all of us in line. When I got up next to them, I simply leaned it and made eye contact, letting them know how fascinating I thought their conversation was. They actually focused on their work after that, for all of ten minutes.

In addition to this loveliness, DK has also instituted a little hidden fee move that is corporate america genius. I had asked the kids to bring along a hoodie for later in the evening when it got chilly, and thought I would just drop them in a locker on the way in. Guess how much a smallish locker cost at the front entrance? NINE BUCKS. I looked at my little group and declared, 'Gentlemen, for nine bucks you can tie your hoodie around your waist and carry it.' I was flummoxed, but not too much so. You see, in the past, they used to have little cubby holes (ala those spaces you had in Kindergarten for your backpack) that you could store your belongings in while you were on the ride. You just crossed the car, put your bag in a cubby, rode the ride, and picked up your stuff on the way to the exit ramp. I figured we would just carry all our stuff and drop it in the cubbies when we got on rides. It would be a pain, but we could work it.

Nuh-uh. See, they now have a park RULE that says you cannot carry ANY items on rides. And--here is the corporate america genius part--they have lockers at the entrance to those rides that you can put your junk in for a dollar. Lest you think you might be clever and use one of those lockers instead, they are time stamped for 120 minutes. Nothing like a hidden charge on every single ride to make you feel like you really are going to enjoy your stay at the park.

And the good stuff doesn't stop there--there are 48" flat screen monitors on nearly every line blaring out advertisements so loud that you have to yell to be heard by the rest of the people in your party. And several of the rides are "sponsored" by companies--Cornnuts, for example--with logos everywhere ala the professional sports venues (which is a kvetch for another time--boy does that little practice shout "we're money grubbing bastages and we don't care if you know it or not"). Speaking of advertising, every single ride we went on had a GEICO ad just before the end of the line: "You are 15 minutes away from the ride. In that amount of time, you could have saved 15% on your car insurance." I shit you not.

Going back to the people we encountered--the DK uniform consists of a neon yellow shirt and khakis. The neon yellow shirt says on the back: "Please keep the park clean, my family comes here too". I wonder if the employees ever read it. Their attitude doesn't indicate that they are even aware it is there. (Google that phrase and you'll find some acerbic reviews by other guests that will confirm my experience was not isolated.)

Oh, and lest you think the visit there was all about the folks who worked there, let me assure you it was not. On walking into the park, we were not handed a map or a schedule or anything. After the main locker incident, I realized they had forgotten (I try to assume the best) to give us a map. I sent Thing 1 to get one, and he returned upset and sullen. I asked why, and he said, 'I picked up a map, and someone snatched it right out of my hand'. I tried to comfort him (again, trying to assume the best), but found I was the confused one. The people at that park were messy, rude and selfish. We saw line hopping like we never had in our lives--I counted no less than forty-five people passing us during our time waiting in line for a ride. That is no exaggeration. People walked by us in both directions like it was a high school dance or something. And right in front of employees who are supposed to enforce the line hop rule (guess they were too busy forcing people to store their stuff in lockers to notice).

Now, look--there are some saving graces at this park. I absolutely LOVE the stingray petting tank, and the shark exhibit. There is a wonderful butterfly conservatory there--a big giant greenhouse with beautiful butterflies in it (we missed it because it is not open the whole day, and we wasted all our time in line, but I went the last time I was there). There are some good shows (the Shouka killer whale show is their piece de resistance). But the rest of the animals look drugged and penned in too small spaces, and the reptile exhibit is no better than our local fish store's.

We got to ride a new attraction (only open 10 days ago) called Tony Hawk's Big Spin, and that ride was AWESOME. They managed to effectively steal a page from the Disney playbook and actually involve you all along the line. There is semi-cool set dressing, and big screens showing the evolution of not just skateboarding, but other extreme sports as well (BMX and FMX, chiefly). Non-Disney parks don't typically do this, and I cannot figure out why. And the ride itself was very cool--imagine combining a tight, smooth, fast rollercoaster with a Tilt-A-Whirl and you'll get a brief idea. And, instead of one of those snap-a-photo-of-you-during-the-ride booths at the end, you can actually get a video of yourself during the ride. Pretty fun, but not enough to save the rest of the experience, which was mostly dreadful.

I was going to argue that it's close to you if you live in Northern California, but after I thought about it a bit, it takes 45 min even if there is no event at the old Sears Point Raceway. You're better off driving an extra hour to Great America, where the rides are 'hecka fun' as Thing 1 says, the place is clean, and the service is better. Or, if you want to stay local, hit the Sonoma County Fair in the next week or so.

Seriously, you need to go here...

So, I wanted to do something fun today since we didn't get to go camping (see truck woes here). I thought that weather-wise it would be a fantastic day to go to the city and play, and the kids haven't been to the Metreon in forever, so I got on the net and looked it up. They have a Sony playstation store there, an IMAX theater, a video arcade, a great noodle shop, and the top floor is devoted to an experiential learning exhibit of something (they had a Maurice Sendak exhibit there when Thing 1 was little; a year back they had one on the Titanic--both were great).

Whilst trying to find what the current exhibit there was, I stumbled on the Zeum website. The Zeum is only one block away, and I had heard about it, but never been. There is an amazing carousel next door, and the ice arena on the other side of the park, so I figured between the Metreon and those two attractions, we would still have plenty to keep us interested even if the Zeum was a bust. But the added bonus was that they were offering a weekend workshop (free with price of admission) on drawing your own comic books. Both my kids are into that stuff, so I thought 'why not'?

It was amazing. The workshop was sort of a bust--not very much guidance, just some artist wandering around and commenting on our own improv, and not helping or directing us at all. But the place itself is INCREDIBLE. There are four main areas there: an animators' studio where you can create your own claymation character and film it, a music production lab where you can karaoke and make your own music video, a digital workshop where you can make computer art, and a "main gallery" with various and sundry hands-on creativity stations. Think Exploratorium for the right brain.

Anyhow, we spent the entire time (when we weren't at the comics workshop) in the claymation studio. In addition to making your own character, there are four "studios"--sets that you can change the background on, and film your character doing stuff. Here's one of Thing 2's movies:



They were getting ready to close, and Helene and I were taking too long artfully crafting our characters, so we made one together (hers is the cat--mine is the dinosaur/horse-looking thing):



I got a family season pass there, so we will be going back. I may even go myself once or twice in the next year--incredibly fulfilling art therapy. And after this week, I needed it.

NOT a banner day...

So, I get to work today, do my thing for a while, and get ready to go. I was supposed to leave around 12:30 to get Thing 2 and we were going to go shopping and pack for an overnight camping trip this weekend. Nothing high-impact, mind you--just the three Yen boys on some overnight, out-of-doors adventure. Fun, right? Especially since we haven't done it in so very long. First thing to go wrong: I won't be able to get Thing 2 until 2:30, right smack dab in the middle of the time I was going to go shopping and get the camping equipment out and prepped. But, no big deal, right? Adapt, Adjust, Overcome, right?

Well, I come out of the office, get in the truck, insert the key, tap the gas, and attempt to start the vehicle. The engine whirrs and almost catches, but will not turn over. I sigh. I had made an appointment to get it looked at for this afternoon, because it wouldn't turn over the night before. (I stopped at a SBUX on the way to rehearsal, turned it off in the drivethru, and ended up pushing it out. But it started again after sitting for five minutes.) I try again, and now it is just whirring. There is clearly charge coming from the battery, it just won't start. I wait. I try again. Rinse and repeat. No start.

I call Blender, who is an expert mechanic (he has been restoring a '67 Mustang for almost as long as I've known him, and was the one who sold me the truck, so he knows its inner workings). We talk about the problem behavior, and he initially says fuel system, but when we discuss how it works fine when it's cold, we both start talking about the ignition module. It has been weak before--it is a bad engineering design for this particular part and this particular generation of Ford--and we think it is surely the problem. A quick fix--a pain in the ass, since it is on the bottom of the distributor, between the firewall and the engine with a 3" clearance, but still....

I go back and forth between the office and the parking lot, and it still won't go, and now it's getting late. I call the ex's beau, who is dropping Thing 2 off at my place, and he is running late, but I figure I have to get down to my house, so I ask the folks for a ride. Mom takes me home, I get Thing 2, and we head back up for the truck. Thing 1 was at a friend's birthday party at Great America, so we stopped to eat dinner together. We got back to the truck at 7:00, and it started right up. So much for getting ready for camping. The day is shot, and now I have to spend at least the morning trying to get the truck fixed. Boo. We'll see what the folks at my favorite shop say.

Fathers' Day...

I was going to post my yearly blog about how much I hate this day, and all it doesn't stand for, and then Thing 1 gave me this original poem:

~~~~~~~~

To an old guy I know.
Happy Father's Day Dad!
You help me be happy when I am sad.
You help cool me down when I've gotten mad.
All the things you've done for me make me glad.
You're the best! From a kid.
Happy Father's day Dad.

~~~~~~~~

I'm going to go cry now.

What a wonderful weekend this will be...

So, today I am going to the Northern California Pirate Festival in Vallejo. It is similar to a Ren Faire, and a lot of the same folks I know from there will be at the Pirate Fest--including the group I perform with at Dickens Faire in December. (They are called the Green Man Inn at Ren Faire; The Green Man Publick House at Dickens.) Should be an absolute blast. I was up late last night with the boys putting together our last-minute costumes, and we will be going with Helene for a few hours today. It is so much fun having the Green Man folks there--gives one a home-base of sorts.

Then, tonight I am seeing Nine Parts of Desire at the Sixth Street Playhouse studio space. Helene is performing a one-woman show about nine Iraqi women and their stories during the Saddam/US era. It is intense and amazing--I saw it opening night, and am eager to see how it has grown over the course of the run.

Tomorrow is the closing of The Wizard of Oz at the Mountain Play. I am frequently asked as I get closer to the end of a run if it is a 'bittersweet' moment for me. This one is just plain surreal. It has been such a wonderful, unique, special experience, that it is hard to find any words to describe it. The commute is brutal, certes--I will not miss that. But even that has its moments--coming out of the clouds in the forest near Muir Woods on an overcast day and seeing the entire bay area spread out before you as if someone had pulled a comforter over it is an amazing thing.

It is a magical show, on par with A Christmas Carol for its universal appeal. It is at its heart a story about finding contentment--and finding it in what you already have, not somewhere greener. It is a story about using your heart, brains, and courage to overcome incredible odds. It is a story about finding friends in strange places, and acceptance. And the feeling you get when you have 3700 people booing the villain, cheering for the good guys, and chanting along with you ("lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!") is something else.

Is it bittersweet? It is surreal--I look at pictures of me, and at some memorabilia I got for the opening, and I think 'that's not me--that's a movie'. The people have been amazing. The work has been professional-grade. It has been wonderful and I will miss it. Come see it tomorrow if you can.

A little weird...

Preface/rant: I have always had this huge pet peeve about "graduation" ceremonies for K-7th grade. It seems like such a way to "level" the playing ground--in the wrong way. By making every year "special", they have managed to make no year special. There is no sense of accomplishment in moving from grade 5 to 6 if that "accomplishment" has been ballyhooed every year since preschool. It would be like having your birthday every month--you would just get tired of it. Except that moving from one grade to another is actually an accomplishment. Having a birthday is managing to survive for another year. (Which, I guess I would have to concede *is* an accomplishment for some of us.)

I have a similar (same?) beef about every single kid in a league getting a "participant" trophy. What is the point? I mean, I understand we are trying to encourage participation, but aren't we devaluing the hard work and victory of accomplishing something (i.e., the championship)? What sort of society are we setting ourselves up for? I can tell you my prediction, because it's already showing: a society of people who can accomplish much, but don't see the point. Sad. And very, very scary. [end preface/rant]

Anyhoo, today was Thing 1's last day in grammar school. EEEEEK! It was a "promotion" ceremony, which I guess was a small victory. It was also weird because I can't believe he is that old. I was uneasy, but at the same time very, very proud: among other things, he received the presidential award for academic achievment (there were only ten kids in the school who did well enough to get it). He was nervous and very excited, and I was really happy to see him up there. Next year he starts middle school.

EEEEEK again.

Bizzay...

Wow, my schedule book looks like someone has been working advanced calculus on it. Yesterday was my dad's birthday. I worked until early afternoon, then ran home and changed, got some flowers and a card for The Batzman for his birthday party (his official day was Thursday). I ran down to see him, then turned right back around again and zoomed up to Santa Rosa to see my friend's play.

Helene is doing a one-woman show in which she plays nine Iraqi women, telling their stories in the context of Saddam and the US tearing the country apart. I heard her on the radio with her directors, and she did a bit from it that was astounding. The show is even more incredible live. The stories are intense, the characters well-developed, and the craft and hard work it takes for her to do this sort of show are nothing short of phenomenal. Go see it. Seriously. Are you still here? It's a short run. Get tickets and then come back and read the rest of this.

Anyway, I went home after that, and got up Saturday to go with my parents to teacakes ("dim sum", for you round eyed folk). We had a great time in the city, and my folks dropped me off in Mill Valley so I could go to a cast party for Oz. Hung out there until about 4, then back up to Sonoma County. Having stayed up entirely too late the previous night, I stumbled around trying to get errands done for the rest of the night (laundry, dishes, cleaning--the house don't clean itself).

Tomorrow, I have a performance of Oz, and several folks are coming, including Thing 1, Thing 2 and the Ex & her beau. Gotta crash.

Dad's big day...

My father turned 70 years old today.

I am extremely grateful, as he was given 3-6 months to live when he was diagnosed with cancer a few years back. Needless to say, he is still around, still bailing me out of trouble, giving me excellent advice, and helping me with math and finances. He is a bit the worse for wear because of the chemo and radiation, and the fact that the tumor (which was metastasized) was in his brain. But still feisty, funny, and...well...my dad.

To celebrate, we are going to the Flower Lounge in Millbrae tomorrow for dim sum and Peking Duck. If you have never been to dim sum before, this is the place to try it--not some podunk place with poor food, service and prices. This place treats you like royalty, feeds you the most amazing stuff, and doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

Happy Birthday, pop!